Harvard psychiatrist identifies 5 skills to help you get along with anybody

Harvard psychiatrist identifies 5 skills to help you get along with anybodyHarvard psychiatrist identifies 5 skills to help you get along with anybodyEmpathy is the ability tounderstand how anotherbei person feels. According to new Harvard research inThe Empathy Effect,its a trait that can be taught and developed. Build empathy and youll be a more effective entrepreneur and leader.Author Helen Riess is a Harvard psychiatrist who has developed empathy training based on her research inneurobiology. Although her studies are done onhealth careprofessionals, the empathy traits shes identified can be used to make stronger connections between you and your employees, customers, or peers in any field.Here are the sevenskills you need to develop E.M.P.A.T.H.Y.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moreE - Eye contactIn Western societies we say that the eyes are the window to the soul. Many cultures have a version of the same phrase. Making eye contact is among the very first human experiences, writes Riess.Riess recommends that you hold meetings face-to-face as much as possible. Itll help you pick up on nonverbal nuances that a persons voice doesnt convey. Also, when meeting people for the first time, maintain eye contact until you notice a persons eye color. That extra beat telegraphs the notion that you truly see them.M - Muscles for facial expressionOur brains are wired to automatically mimic facial expressions. When someone smiles at you, you almost always smile back. Its an automatic response. But youre also wired to tell the difference between a fake smile - just turning up the lips - and the Duchenne smile, a genuine smile of happiness. Muscles in the face rarely lie. Pay attention.P - PostureSit up tall. It suggests happiness or confidence. As a doctor, Riess conveys respect and authority by sitting down with patients, turning her body toward them, leaning forward, a nd sitting at eye level.A - AffectAffect is the scientific term for emotion. Pay attention to a persons emotional state - is she sad, irritated, confused, or elated? Theres little chance of communicating effectively if you dont understand where someone is at emotionally. Once again, millions of years of development have wired our brains to be remarkably accurate at assessing emotions. Trust your gut - it really does know something your brain doesnt.T - Tone of voiceI learned a new word in Riesss book prosody. Linguists use prosody to refer to your vocal pace, rhythm,and pitch. According to Riess, prosody infuses a layer of emotion to the spoken word that goes above and beyond the singular meaning of each word. That is,howyou say something telegraphs a wealth of content.In medicine, Riess is teaching health care providers to match the volume and pace as if they were having a conversation with a friend during a difficult time. Soothing tones result in better patient conversations and outcomes.H - Hearing the whole personEmpathetic listening means paying attention to another person, identifying her emotions, and responding with compassion and without judgment, writes Riess. For example, dont speak when youre in the red zone. When emotions are running high in an argument, take a step back. Dont interrupt. Dont match the other persons emotion by raising yours to the red zone. Youll find that the conversation will de-escalate quickly if you follow these rules.Y - Your responseEmotions are contagious. You might not realize that your emotional state is rubbing off on others. Through shared neural networks, your feelings about others may transmit very important information about how they are experiencing what you say and do, according to Riess. If youre angry or unsure of yourself, or fearful, those emotions will leave an impression on others and impact the quality of your communication. Pay attention to how you feel because its a signal of how people around you will feel.The actorAlan Alda, who played one of the most empathetic characters in television history- M.A.S.H.s Hawkeye Pierce - wrote the forward toThe Empathy Effect. Alda says hes been on a quest to improve communication. After he met Riess, Alda says he realized what he welches really searching for was empathy. His big takeaway- empathy can be taught. Empathy, Alda says, is the fundamental thing that helps us to thrive.Empathy might be your ticket to connection and, ultimately, success.This article originally appeared on Thrive Global.You might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from Benjamin Franklins daily schedule that will double your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong people

Resume Not Getting Responses Heres What to Do

Resume bedrngnis Getting Responses Heres What to DoResume Not Getting Responses Heres What to DoAs one of the countrys leading resume writing services,ResumeSpiceknows you only have a few secondsto make a positiveimpression on a hiring manager.Its not a lot of time to stand out and get noticed. Thegood news is thatjusta fewsmall tweaks can lead to big improvements on your resume. Heres a look at 5 you can make right now1 Stick to standard.In other words, unless youre applying for a job in a creative field, dont get flashy on your resume. Instead, format it in a traditional way, with bolded job titles and bullets underneath. In addition, when emailing your resume, always send in the preferred document type. Some employers prefer PDF, while others prefer Word or a simple text version.Also, stick to traditional fonts on your resume. That means no Comic Sans or script fonts. Times New Roman and Garamond are always good choices.2 Keep it concise.Get rid of unnecessary verbiage. This inclu des stating that references are available on request. It also means ditching the objective at the top of your resume. In addition, dont include more than six or seven bullets under each job title. And makesure each one is succinct and makes sense for the reader.3 Pull out that personal information.Details such as your marital status, the number of kids you have, or your religion dont belong on your resume. In fact, its illegal for an employer to consider these factors when hiring and including them makes you look out of the loop.4 Concentrate on accomplishments.The single best way to get noticed by a hiring manager is to promote your proven track record. That means highlighting awards, successes, achievements, praise, and positive comments youve received over the years and that are most relevant to the job you want. Add numbers and percentages to quantify accomplishments wherever you can.5 Phone a friend.Once youve polished your resume and think its as good as its going to get, ask a friend or colleague to review it. Not only can they check for mistakes and typos, but they can also offer you some insight and inspiration into how to position your background.Need more help creating a strong resume and finding a new job? Call ResumeSpice. As one of the countrys leading professional resume writing services, we can help you produce a winning resume.Contact us today to learn moreat 832.930.7378.

13 ways to have profound and rare life experiences

13 ways to have profound and rare life experiences13 ways to have profound and rare life experiencesThe passion behind your goals is experience.Better than, What are you trying to accomplish? is, What are you trying to experience? What are you experiencingright this instance?Look around your physical environment. Is this the experience you want to be having?Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moraResearch has found thatexperiences are more meaningfulthan material things. Experiences, then, are a better investment than stuff.As you apply the following strategies, you will have deeper, richer, and more powerful life experiences.1.Follow your gut, and logic willfollowWhat may initially binnenseem crazy eventually becomes the fruchtwein logical and clear explanation. The process of trusting your intuitive voice allows you to weave together inspired work and even an inspired life.For instan ce, when discussing how he wrote the music for the Disney film,Beauty and the Beast, Alan Menken said you must follow you heart, throwing your feelings metaphorically out there and following those feelings. What you will find, Menken explains, is that logic and sense will naturally follow.In a similar way, Steve Jobs has said,You cant connect the dots looking forward you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.If you dont know what you want, youve probably made things too complex or tooreasonable.Listen to that voice within. Follow it, even if that means only taking one step forward. Eventually, youll be able to throw what you feel inside way out there, and watch as those impressions magneticallypull you forward.2.What youre really looking for is experiencesThe purpose of every goal is to have a particular experience or to create an experience for someone else.Rather than starting with a goal, ask yourself,What is the experience Im trying to have?Once you can answer this question, you can then determine effective means for having that experience.The Wright Brothers wanted to fly. Others have wanted to stand on Mount Everest, or have a happy and healthy family, or be a millionaire. Elon Musk wants to die on Mars.What is the experience youre trying to have?Is it love and acceptance?Is it feeling closer to God?Is it having a healthy and strong body?Is it more specific?Experiences are what make us human. They are what make life meaningful. You can put a price tag on many things in life, but certain experiences cant be bought with money.Certain experiences can only be had after years of hard work and directed focus. For example, you cant have the experience of running a successful company without committing to all involved in getting there. You cant have the experience of earning a Ph.D. without years of schooling.The greatest experiences in life are safeguarded from those who dont have the vis ion and dedication to achieve them. You cant experience the thrill of being with the person you love if youre unwilling to put yourself out there. You cant have the experience of finishing a marathon if you dont train.What experiences would be worth a lifelong journey of commitment and discipline to achieve?What are you really trying to experience?How can you begin having those experiences now?What do you need to consistently be doing in order to have the greatest experiences you could possibly have in your life?Therein lies the path before you.3.Experiences are what open the door to greater experiencesJim Rohn, famed author and motivational speaker, tells the story of his turning point moment. When he welches 25 years old, a young girl scout knocked on his door and asked if hed buy cookies. Embarrassed by the fact that he didnt have the two dollars to buy the cookies, he lied to the girl.Weve recently bought some cookies to support your great organization,he said.The girl thanked h im and left. When he shut the door behind her, he stood quietly in the entry way of his home. After a few sober moments in his thoughts, he told himself,I dont want to live like this anymore.And he really meant it. He was determined to figure out a better way to live his life.Shortly after having that experience, he was introduced to a man who would become his mentor for the next six years. This mentor changed Rohns life, and taught him the core principles Rohn used to become successful and help millions of other people become successful.The Tao Te Ching states,When the student is ready the teacher will appear.Jim Rohn believes he either wouldnt have been presented the experience of working with his mentor, or he wouldnt have recognized the opportunity had he not first had his girl scout cookie experience. It wasthatexperience that facilitated great opportunities in his life. Because he was truly ready to change his life, he attracted the experiences that made it happen.Hence, Jim R ohn consistently taught throughout his career,Success is not to be pursued it is to be attracted by the person you become.After you have certain experiences that fundamentally change you as a person, you will attract greater people, opportunities, andexperiencesinto your life. Like attracts like.4.Certain experiences can only happen in a particular contextSome experiences require a particular context. For example, it sometimes takes getting away from all the noise and being out in nature to get personal clarity and insights.What is the context that would most naturally facilitate the experiences youre trying to have?Without question, every context or situation has an underlying agenda and culture. The energy of certain situations will directly oppose the experiences you are trying to have. If youre serious about your goals and values, you will keep yourself from those situations. You will also be mindful and proactive about being in the environments that will most likely facilitate the experiences youre trying to create.5.Consistently ask yourself, Whats the greatest experience I could have in this situation?Within every situation, there is a range of possibilities. Most people live beneath those possibilities, even though they are completely available to them.A friend of mine recently told me of the experience she had during a workout competition. She was trying to do a rope-climb several times and smashed into a mental wall. It took everything in her to break through that wall and watch herself do something difficult. This experience wasmonumentalto her.On a simpler level, look around yourself right now. You are in a situation. Since you are reading these words, you are clearly looking at a screen. But what else is around you?How could you have the greatest possible experience in your present situation?Sometimes, it takes courage to create an amazing experience. For example, you may want to genuinely tell a family member how much you love and appreciate them . This level of vulnerably and honesty may seem risky to you. However, if you muster the strength andact, you can radicallybruder the situationfor better, and thus create a beautiful and powerful experience you may not have had.6.Be mindful of your situation and make modifications to improveitAgain, take a moment to be mindful of the environment around you. Its a good practice to do this regularly. Mindfulness, after all, is simply an awareness of your context.What are some slight modifications you can make to your environment to enhance the experience?This could be as simple as changing the music, tidying up, or expressing gratitude to those who are with you.If youre in the car with your lover, a simple modification could be putting your hand over the center console and holding their hand. A slight tweak to the situation unlocks the possibilities of a far differentexperience.7.Track what you think about and prayforA mans mind may be likened to a garden, which may be intelligently c ultivated or allowed to run wild but whether cultivated or neglected, it must, and will, bring forth. James AllenWhat do you consistently think about?Most people spend their energy focused onthe gapbetween where they are and want to be.I DONT have that book contract.My relationship ISNT going well.I WISH I was healthier.All of these thoughts compound the problem. What you focus on expands. Where your eye goes your body follows.Just as negative, people are often thinking about the very experiences theyre trying toavoid.From a psychological perspective, having anavoid-orientationstalls behavior, creating a paralysis by analysis. Conversely, having an approach-orientation activates behavior.Keep your eye on the experiences youre trying to create. That willpull you forwardtoward those experiences. You need to be in action, moving. Breakthrough rarely occurs without action.Does your mental and spiritual environment match the external environment youre trying to experience?An insightful p ractice is writing down what youre praying for on a daily basis. Doing this helps you discover how bland and broad your prayers probably are, allowing you to think and pray more concisely and specifically. Overtime, youll be able to look back on your entries and discover your consciously created reality.8.Have a few 90-minute Jam Sessions dailyResearch has found that employees are distracted from their workevery three minutes. To make matters worse, it takes approximately 23 minutes to get back to a state of focus after being distracted.If youre serious about achieving your goals, youll need to have creative and focused flow experiences, often. Flow is when you are fully immersed in a state of energized focus and enjoyment toward the activity youre doing.Hard work and long hours were the recipes for success in the 20th century. Deep focus and creativity are the recipe for success in the 21st century.Being in deep focused activity is like pushing yourself hard at the gym. After each workout, youll need to rest and recover. Hence, your brain can deeply focus for approximately90 minutesbefore it needs a break.Famed psychologist Anders Ericsson, who coined the term deliberate practice, found that the top performers all had similar practice characteristics They practiced in the morning They practiced for three sessions per day Each session was 90 minutes or less100 percent focused when working, 100 percent recovering when youre not. This is the recipe for making huge gains toward your goals. Ironically, most people will struggle to do this in our distraction-saturated world.If you can even get one 90-minute Jam Session per day, youll likely get more done than most people do in a week. Again, most people work in a perpetual state of distraction. Like sleeping but never getting to REM, most people work but never experience FLOW.9.Dont let other people steal your capitaltimeIn order to create flow-state experiences, youll need to cultivate environments that facilitate deep focus and creativity. For extreme sports athletes, those environments may be jumping-off cliffs or surfing waves.But what areyoutrying to experience and achieve?Again, look around you right now. You are in a context as we speak. Does your context activate or inhibit focus?How likely are you to have peak experiences and deep creativity in your current environment?One easy tweak is to completely remove your phone from your environment while you work. During your 90 minute Jam Sessions, you are completely unreachable. The world will be fine without you as you dive into flow, because when you emerge youll be able to give them your full self.If you dont protect what Jim Rohn calls your Capital Time another description of Jam Sessions undoubtedly other people will steal it away from you. You may have the best of intentions, but as T.S. Elliot has said,Most of the evil in this world is done by people with good intentions.I would add that most failures also occur despite good intentio ns. Commitment is far more powerful than wishing.10.The cost of distraction is more than youthinkHow much is your time worth?If you want to make $250,000 per year, youll need to make approximately $150 per hour. If you want to make $125,000 per year, youll need to make approximately $75 per hour.Whatever your perceived value, its good to put a dollar amount on your time. This keeps your goals and daily behaviors in proper perspective.Watching 20 minutes of YouTube then, isnt exactly free. If your time is worth $150 per hour, then watching YouTube for 20 minutes actually cost you $50.Everything has a cost. The greatest cost is the future experiences you are sacrificing for momentary pleasure. Is watching YouTube videos worth the cost of having those highest of experiences?Distractions are not free The cost is enormous Distractions are costing you your time. They are also costing future time in the form of opportunity cost. You cant get lost time back.11.Have as many disconnected days as youcanDarren Hardy, author ofThe Compound Effect,recommends another practice for experiencing high productivity. He calls this practice,disconnected days.Just as you should be completely disconnected during your 90 minute Jam Sessions, you should regularly scheduleentire dayswhere you are completely disconnected.No email.No phone.No social media.Just you, fully able to dive deep into the creative or restorative process.Without having a formal name for it, Ive had regular disconnected days for years. They are my most productive and some of my most meaningful days.These disconnected days need not be all about work. Actually, having disconnected days entirely for the purpose of rest and recovery is also essential. For instance, on Sundays, I dont use the internet at all, nor do I work. I use my Sundays for connecting deeper with my family and my spirituality.Darren Hardy recently said hes trying to have 150 disconnected days in 2016. Thats a great goal. And without question, it wil l yield enormous results.Unplug from the matrix. Do the work you truly want to do. Live your life. Build toward the dreams and goals that mean everything to you. Dont sacrifice that which matters most for that which matters least.12.You go as nahe daran sein as those you are followingWho you follow determines where you get in life. If your leader isnt moving forward, youre not moving forward, because your results are a reflection of your leaders results.Usain Bolt, the worlds fastest runner, has broken many world records in recent history. Whats just as interesting, though, is that even those losing to Bolt are breaking world records. In other words, those who are losing to Bolt are running faster than anyone who has ever lived.How are they doing it?Theyre just trying to keep up with Bolt. Theyre able to go faster than they ever have because of who they are following. Indeed, the very fact that Bolt is in their environment completely changes their abilities.Being aware of the result s of those youre following is just as important as being aware of your context. Who you follow ispart of your context.13.Doing less takescourageKill your darlings, kill your darlings, even when it breaks your egocentric little scribblers heart, kill your darlings. Stephen KingIts hard to cut trivial distractions things you know are holding you back from your life. Its even harder to cutgreat thingsfrom your life in order to focus on that which isbest.It takes courage to edit your life. As Steve Jobs has said,You have to pick carefully. Im actually as proud of the things we havent done as the things I have done. Innovation is saying no to 1,000 things.Quality is far more important than quantity. When Steve Jobs was with Pixar, he decided to do something revolutionary. Most movie companies made dozens of movies and hoped to bank on the few that really worked. Instead, Jobs and Pixar decided to create just one movie every year. Focusing the energy of lots of smart people on one project would yield the greatest results, Jobs believed.If you spend the majority of your time on trivial matters, or on things you could easily delegate or outsource, youre not maximizing your value.Its well known that 80 percent of results come from 20 percent of the activities we do. Its good to do an 80/20 analysis and 1) delete or 2) delegate the 80 percent of activities in order to 3) double-down on what truly matters. Then do another 80/20 analysisof the 20 percentyielding your results (0.20 X 0.20 = 0.04). Double-down on that. Focus as much as you can on those things of highestvalue.As you focus on the highest impact activities, you will make enormous progress toward your goals. Thus, not only will you enjoy the ride more, but the ride will also move much faster. Youll get to see more of what you really wanted to see. Time will slow down for you.Conclusion Dont compartmentalize yourlifeOne man cannot do right in one department of life whilst he is occupied in doing wrong in any oth er department. Life is one indivisible whole. Mahatma GandhiYour entire life is a context, a system.When you change a part, you simultaneously change the whole.The smallest tweaks could make an enormous difference.Look at your life. How are little decisions holding you back from the experiences you want to have?Make those changes immediately. Continue to improve the contexts all around you and you will increasingly have the experiences youre striving to have.How I Turned $25,000 Into $374,592 In Less Than 6MonthsIve created a free training that will teach you how to become world-class and successful at anything you choose.Access the free trainingherenowThis article first appeared on Medium.